You hear the words Support System, and you think Family first and then maybe some friends, someone you look up to. Right?? Well… I’d like to suggest another option.
I used to think I had a great support system in my family and friends. And then life dealt me my hardest cards. So confused as to what I should do.. Should I fold or keep playing this twisted game?? I turned to my family. I figured my dad should be able to help me, after all I’m his little Princess. What do I see in his eyes?? DISAPPOINTMENT, CONFUSION, BETRAYAL, CONCERN. How could I be so stupid and irresponsible enough to get into this mess?? I searched for my mom. All I see in her eyes is CONCERN, CONFUSION, STRENGTH FOR ME. I was overjoyed. But she still couldn’t show me the way. Then came the extended cousins and family. Again CONFUSION, most thought I was destined to be a fuck up and then again some couldn’t care less about me.
By now I’m too worried to even tell my friends what is happening. But I muster up the courage to do so to a few select friends. Some are CONFUSED, FaceBook says you are fine? What happened? Some say what are you going to do now? You cannot take care of yourself. And then some say well you should’ve controlled that attitude of yours. And then there were the amazing few who asked me for the first time, If I was OK? If I was going to be OK??
Through all my ordeals in my past I’ve come to filter the ones who really care about me and the ones who like me for the few minutes of my company. And the one thing that got etched into my heart and soul is.. You will always have family, friends and well wishers. You will always have someone in your corner. But none of that matters if YOU are not in your corner. See I had been looking for someone else to help me through my problems so much so that I forgot I’ve me. That I went through all of that. How can anyone else understand me as much as I do myself? Who better to give me a pep talk than the person who knows me the most? Who better to lift me up than me? The day I realised this I became my number 1 support system. Even at the end of the world, I’ll still have me. So look within you for strength, look within you for the support you seek from others. Some days will be harder than others. Your negative voice might be louder than the positive one, but know that You were born positive. So you’ve been positive more than you’ve been negative and that voice will diminish. You are stronger than your demons. Its a long process and a hard one to trust in yourself but once you do,the world will be a brighter place.
BE YOUR OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM, BE YOUR OWN PERSON.