I knew about sexuality way before I probably should have. Chalk it off to curiosity or just being around a lot of information, the right and the wrong kind. I also knew that I was unsure about it. India being the ever open minded country, being gay or lesbian was frowned upon. I like men. No doubt about it. And somewhere down the line, I realized I liked women too. It wasn’t about the sex. It wasn’t about experimentation. The day i figured I might be into a woman for more than just the looks and body, was when I looked into a pair of wonderfully beautiful blue grey eyes. And I felt the same kind of butterflies I did when I had fallen in love with a guy. But my immediate reaction was, WTF just happened?? I remember calling up my friend who is a proud and bold as fuck lesbian, and rambling about this crazy feeling I’ve got about a woman. I didn’t think it could happen to me. While I’ve always thought, “A things of beauty is joy for ever!” it took me a while before I knew I like all beautiful genders. I do mean more than two because I’ve had the fortune of getting to know a Transgender lady, Ash in all her glory. I knew her when she was a man and i know her now after she transitioned. What a brave, gorgeous and strong human being she is. People think lesbians look at all woman like they want to sleep with them, or that gay men cant wait to do it with every guy they meet. What most people don’t understand is that the LGBT community falls in love just like a straight person does. You fall in love with the person, their ideals, their values, their brains and their goofiness. You do not decide when you came into this world, “Yes, I am going to be straight. I am going to marry a guy. I am going to not accept the fact that I may not be into guys. Its just a phase.” A few of my friends know am Bi- Sexual. My family does not. Probably because I knew they wouldn’t understand what being bisexual is, so I didn’t bother to tell them.My ex-husband did. He chose to ignore it like he did me. And no, he isn’t my ex because I chose a woman over him. I believed in that marriage as much as I believe in love. But somethings aren’t meant to be. Being bisexual is not a choice, its not because I want the best of both worlds. It is because I’ve seen love in the other gender too. I’ve only fell in love with a woman once, and it did not pan out to anything, but that hasn’t made me lose hope that may be my Knight in shining Armour is a gorgeous girl. I do believe in falling in love with a person. Not their gender.You cannot Pray away the Gay, You cannot keep telling yourself you are something you are not. Its not a defect. Its human to fall in love. You cannot choose who it is with. I do not hate men nor am I averse to being with a man. I enjoy it as much as I enjoy being with a woman. These shootings, these hatred spewing words you hear everywhere, is just another way to intimidate you into being someone society thinks you outta be.
You can vote, You can buy guns,
But you cannot choose who you love?
You can pierce, you can get tattooed,
But you cannot choose what you do to your body or what’s within?
This is today’s world, formed by the prejudice few,
For what do they know about love so pure.
SO TODAY AS I PRETTY MUCH OUT MYSELF TO ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS POST, I PRAY SOMEDAY MY WONDERFUL GAY AND LESBIAN FRIENDS, GET THEIR RIGHT TO MARRY WHO THEY LOVE, TO ADOPT A CHILD WITHOUT ANY HASSLES, & TO PROUDLY BRING UP KIDS WHO LEARN NOT TO BE HOMOPHOBIC, NOT TO SHOUT OUT RACIAL SLURS, AND TO TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME.
And I hope someday I find someone I can love again, regardless of the gender.
P.S.: Prayers to all the families and friends of Orlando and every other inch of this world who are fighting for their family’s right to love.